Last Pictures

I ran across some pictures I took of us all playing together in Jim's computer room on Feb 1st, 2007, about 2 weeks before he found out he had Leukemia. I knew I had taken these but only found them this evening. I sure miss him. So does Emily. He was so much fun! Looking back at these pictures, he looked so thin and I can see some bruising but we didn't have a clue. I can also see where he cut himself shaving. We thought he had a cold.
He is teaching Emily how to stand on her head.

She loves her Daddy.

Jim and Emily would watch Grommit and would duplicate how he said 'Cheese'.

The Memory Quilt

When I lost Jim, I had all this 'stuff' of his. One of those items was his t-shirts. He loved getting a t-shirt anytime he went somewhere special. I decided to cut them up in squares for a quilt and worked up the courage to ask Jim's Aunt Judy to put it together. She is amazingly talented. Jim loved his Aunt Judy so much. He loved her cooking for him and playing Bridge with him. Judy finished the quilt in August and presented it to Emily while she was here (from Michigan) for Ed and Lois's 50th wedding anniversary. It is amazing. I was so surprised at my reaction - each square brought back a special memory. Judy wrote a note on the back to Emily as well as placed a picture of Jim on it. Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary.
Square 1 - Red Cross T-Shirt: Jim loved giving blood and platelets. He liked doing something good for someone and then getting cookies and orange juice afterwards.
Square 2 - Toyota: Jim had this when I met him. He drove a black Toyota Tacoma. He was pretty handsome driving that truck. He hauled a lot with it.
Square 3 - Vyvx Fiber Team: I always got freebe shirts in Jim's size. He loved it.
Square 4 - Cozumel: I finally talked Jim into a warm weather vacation. We all had a blast. I loved watching him and Emily snorkel, play on the beach and swim in the pool.
Square 5 - Minich Migration: The Minichs drive from all over the U.S. to meet for Thanksgiving dinner. We went most years. There is usually from 100 to 115 people every year. This particular year, I loaned Jim my car to drive up there. It was snow and ice most of the way. He said he couldn't get much over 70 because of the ice packed roads.
Square 6 - Sweet Jim. I like this picture, not sure when it was taken.
Square 7 - This shirt was from Excaret. It was an adventure theme park at Playa del Carmen when we went to Cozumel in 2005. Jim absolutely loved the ferry trip between the two islands. I enjoyed watching him and Emily snorkeling. She would get so excited seeing a fish. I could see her pointing to the fish showing her Daddy. Emily left her blankie at the hotel when we left. Jim paid for an empty cab to go to the hotel, pick up her blankie and bring it to us at the airport.
Square 8 - Someone gave him this shirt. He loved Dr. Suess and read his books to Emily and at the preschool at our church and to Emily's classroom at Rejoice. He had several memorized from cover to cover. He was so cute reading them. His Mother gave him 'Oh The Place You Will Go' for graduation. We as a family got a lot of enjoyment out of Jim reading those books.
Square 9 - Hey! That thing got a Hemi? Jim taught Emily to say that when he got his truck in 2004. He was quite proud of his Hemi. Tony has it now and it very proud that it belonged to Jim.
Square 10 - Amy Grant. Jim loved music. He had quite the collection of albums, mp3s, cds and on and on. If he liked someone, he would buy every album they ever had. We would go on vacation to Michigan and never have to hear the same song twice. He has passed on his love for music and his music tastes to his daughter.
Square 11 - Winter Blast. This was a church shirt. He loved our church and was so involved in activities. He played volleyball, basketball, baseball. He helped me teach on Wednesdays, helped with TAG, was on the chain ministry, worked in the nursery, helped with communion, and on and on. We were/are so greatful for our church. They were so there for us during all of this - First Christian Church Owasso Oklahoma.
Square 12 - Myers Plumbing. This is Jim's cousins business in Michigan. Jim was very proud of this t-shirt and just loved seeing Robyn and her family. He thought they were so cool. And they are! Robyn's mother made this quilt.
Square 13 - Awe. Jim and Emily. This is one of my favorite pictures. It so shows his love for her and how precious she was to him. I loved watching them play.
Square 14 - MCI. This is where Jim worked. They were very much family to him - to us. During his illness, they took such good care of us. I was so impressed with how much they loved Jim. He was so darn smart and had such a sweet spirit. One of my favorite stories of him at work was when I first started working there and we were playing volleyball. The team was divided up and, of course, Jim's side always won. We were in a team meeting and someone was commenting about Jim playing so well and said we needed to put a handicap on him. Jim held up his arm with no hand and said 'duh'. He was so funny.

More to come.....

Jim's Back Roll

Jim worked really hard to perfect his backroll on the wakeboard and he would always do one for me when I asked him to. I just think it is so cool. Here is a clip of his infamous backroll. Enjoy!!

Last Moments

Recently I can't seem to get his last words to me off my mind. Dave had come from Arizona to sit with Jim at the hospital. We kept someone there continuously because the care was lacking to say the least. It got so bad at one point and I was so angry that I wrote every thing down on paper. Anyway, it was the second night Dave stayed with him so I could get some much needed rest and work done. Dave called me in the middle of the night and said something was very wrong with Jimmy and they are taking him to ICU. I rushed to the hospital to find them putting the ventilator mask over his face. Jim voiced 'I love you', closed his eyes and motioned me to go on as they were telling me to leave. There was blood all over the mask. He was so brave. I should have known he knew things were bad. He never told me he loved me first unless he was in trouble or it was a very special occasion. We almost lost him the next day. The care was much better in ICU. We had no idea what we were getting into when all this started. I didn't even know was Leukemia was.

I miss him so very much. I miss our life together. I miss our plans and our dreams. I miss watching our favorite shows togeter. It hurts so much losing him. The depth of my loss is so great when I let myself think about all the things that will never be.

Pete - Wahoo

The picture on the right with Jim holding a ski rope is one of my favorite pics of him. He was having so much fun at the time and was saying 'Wahoo'. He had just taught a good buddy of his how to wakeboard. It to probably 2 1/2 hours of continuous trying to get Pete up on the wakeboard. He wasn't giving up and neither was Jim. Me, I was ready to try it another day after about 30 minutes. Once Pete did get up, he instantly started trying to do tricks. Jim loved going to the lake with Pete. He was the one person that would get out there and literally wear himself out on the wakeboard or jetski. Jim just thought he was the greatest. I thought it was great that Jim had someone that would keep up with him and it was such a joy to watch them 'play'. Jim certainly knew how to have fun.

God's Grace

Wednesday nights are now officially Mommy/Daughter nights and this past Wednesday was a great one. It was raining and we decided to get the sled out and go up and down the ditches and then we stomped in the water and the rain. It was much fun. I remember watching Jim and Emily do that a lot. I guess it is my turn to fill that need. We did other things also. After I put her to bed, I did my usual - got out my bow stuff, turned on the TV and began watching my
recorded shows and making bows. Occasionally, I look up at Jim's pictures on the wall and the mantel then I go on about my work. I preface what I am going to write by some background info.

It has been over a year now and things have gotten better. I still cry. I cry because I miss him, I cry because he suffered, I cry because he cried. I cry because I feel so guilty that I wasn't smarter about Leukemia and went into it so helplessly, I cry at the deep loss of him for myself and Emily. But then I have to get back to my faith and the fact that if it was not his time God wouldn't have taken him. I know and always have known that he was with God. But yet I go down that dark pathway sometimes and I just pray to God that if I just knew for sure that he was ok and then I apologize for having so little faith.

I have smelled Jim ever since he passed - most of the time when I cry but other times also. I have shared that info with a few people I am very close to. I know some might think I am wacky but I don't really care. I thought at first that is was my imagination but it definitely is not. There have just been too many instances. I don't know, nor does any other human, what the other dimension holds. God knows. Jim now knows.

Anyway, back to my story. Jim's smell showed up and was really strong. So I just took a break and imagined him holding me in his arms. He was so big and strong and I always felt so loved and protected when he hugged me. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. I started thinking about the fact that I needed to finish watching our 8mm videos so that I can preserve all the Jim moments. I want to be sure Emily has all this when she gets older. I watched several of them the week that everyone was coming to Tulsa to remember his one year anniversary. I didn't really feel like watching them on this night because I really needed to get some work done and the watching of the tapes is so emotional. But I just kept getting this overwhelming urge to watch the tapes.

Finally I got up and went to the cabinet where we have always kept them and there was only one left. It was London 1999. Jim went to Paris and London on business in 1999. I went to Paris but didn't go to London with him - partly because I didn't want to make that 10 hour flight just 1 week after getting back from Paris and partly because we were going through invetro at the time and I was pregnant. We never got a heartbeat so it was an emotional time. I really missed Jim while he was gone. I guess he made a tape while he was over there. Not sure why I never watched it, probably because of where we were at with the invetro cycle. Anyway, he wasn't on the tape but he did narrate it. He showed my where he worked, his apartment, Big Ben, the changing of the guard, West Minster Abby, co-workers, public transportation, etc. It was nice hearing his voice narrating. He always had a very comical way of saying things. Anyway, towards the end of the film, he focuses in on some scripture on a building. I don't remember what all it said but I read it, I read it again and again, then I thought "Gee Jim, why are you staying on this so long?" Then it dawned on me. The last part of the scripture read: 'And to those who know him, God grants Eternal Life.' Oh my gosh, what a wonderful God we have. As undeserving as I am, he gave me the sign I prayed for. Jim's smell left. I just sat there on the couch in awe of God. Wow!

Now that a week has past, I still miss Jim but a heavy burden has lifted. I thank God for the time he gave me with Jim and the beautiful little girl he blessed me with - a part of Jim.

McDonalds' Drive-thru Window

One of the funniest memories of Jim was when we were at the drive-thru window at McDonalds. We had ordered 2 shakes. The girl brought one to the window ledge, sat it down and went to make the other one. While she was gone, Jim took the shake and sat it in the car. She came back with the 2nd shake, saw the 1st one not there and just shook her head and went back to make another shake. While she was gone, Jim put the shake he took, back on the window ledge. She came back and now had three shakes. She was so flustered and saying, 'I do not know what is wrong with me'. Jim said 'I only ordered 2 shakes, but I'll take that 3rd one if you are just going to throw it away.' Of couse, she gave it to him. You had to be there, but is was so funny and Jim kept such a straight face.

Anytime we went to a restaurant, the first thing Jim would do is order a large drink and then tell the waitstaff to keep his drink full and that the tip would reflect it. And he always tried to talk them into something free or an extra portion. He had this whole routine. I used to get embarrassed but learned to get over it. He was a very big tipper. I liked that about him. Extremely generous.

Emily's Bike Memory

Today Emily got a new bike. She is between a 16" and a 20" so we got her an 18". She was riding her bike and she said that when her Daddy had just taught her how to ride without training wheels, she had a wreck. He was telling her that he was proud of her and that he didn't get his training wheels off until he was 8. She also took both feet off the pedals and said 'Look. This is what Daddy used to do all the time.'

Anyway, I told her that I was writing down my memories of him so I wouldn't lose them and she wants to do the same thing. This is one of hers.

Memories

"When you lose someone," says Dr. H. Norman Wright, "what you have left basically are the memories. At first they're so sharp that they hurt. In time those memories begin to dull. They diminish. That in itself is another loss that you have to go through. In writing about it, you don't lose those memories. They're always there in black and white."

For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you" (2 Corinthians 2:4).

Lord, give me the discipline and the courage to sit down and write out special memories about my loved one - James Minich. Thank you, Jesus, Amen.

The above passage was taken from my GriefShare daily email. As the one year anniversary of Jim's death approaches, I feel that it is time to start documenting the memories I have of him. I as so afraid of forgetting them and I want to be sure Emily has them all.

Today's memory is that I came home from work one day and Jim had replaced all the toilet seats. He didn't tell me he was doing it, he just did it and surprised me. I was always complaining that the seats are cold. I don't like the cold. So I got a soft, cushiony seat in my bathroom and in the hall bath. Emily got a really cute one - blue (Jim's favorite color) with fish and dolfhins on it. I came home and didn't notice it until later that evening. I was so ecstatic. He loved it when I thought he was the coolest.